Journey of self

A reminder to myself, and anyone who needs it.

Be kind. Be joyful energy. Be ready for the best possibility for everyone, and happily help others.

The road is long, so what do I want to pack in my own emotional luggage?

I’m sorry that there are rough spots on the road. I ask forgiveness for not being able to make everyone’s journey good, I do thank you for this lesson as what I need to do to work on myself. I love you all and the celebrations and hardships we have created together.

There are destinations inside of us, I don’t want to hope, but plan for a place that everyone can say was not just a pleasant place to be, but one that rejuvenates, inspires, and creates wonder for everyone (along with occasional ridiculous glittery spectacle).

I cast good intentions to all who are on this journey of self, and expect nothing less than to be called out when my own checking in fails. We all need course corrections. I write on this map, directions for me to follow, and if I’m in uncomfortable territory, I know the magic will be with me to help me grow.

Energy that is

The energy that you have, is who you are.

What you concentrate on, reflects your own energy.

It’s said that you are made of the five people that you have the most association with.

There is no difference in energy between people, just how they decide to experience that energy.

The only way to change the pattern of our reactions to those energies, is to be in the moment; and bring a different focus to that moment.

Even if our immediate reaction is from habit, we need to acknowledge that there probably is a better way.

Everybody can do better, when we are focusing on everybody. And not a closed body. To actively set aside memory/reaction, honor it as an experience and choose to create a new change.

Energy will flow, and there are no limits between anything.

What is being created today?

“Ideas Rule The World” by Serge Kahili King

You are the source of your experience because your decisions about life color your thoughts, your imagination, your emotions, and your actions. And all these serve like a magnet for associated events, circumstances, and people, attracting you to them and them to you. There’s an awful lot of life out there in the world. The part of it that you experience is a result of your opinions about it.

One Year and One Day – Grief

It’s been one year, and today is one day since you’ve left us.

There is still relief that you don’t have to be in pain, a pain that the cancers stretched out over a decade. Over a decade, and unfortunately that monster of cancer has erased the memories of the good days, a weight that pulls the bad days in front of our eyes. And these reminders for us to enjoy this, this here and now. Thinking of death does bring appreciation to all the small things, the large things, and all things.

And this grief does not let us have immediate relief. I’ve read that it’s just love that doesn’t have a place for it to go to. Agree and disagree, we can still love the memories of you, the stories you’ve become, and the few moments when your spirit is here – the veil is thin this time of year.

And thank the Creator and Universe and the Goddess, the local lands, and all that is – that it is a veil and not a concrete impenetrable wall. These shrouded veils let us breathe, when you cannot.

Grief and Joy are a process, filled with tiny earthquakes and too many epiphanies for our spirit to handle.

And I’m reminded again, at this time of year, when I make my annual artistic sabbatical to travel to that emerald city, Seattle – There needs to be space, you cannot have nothing, without having something. Every light casts shadow.

Grief and joy are not mutually exclusive.

Grief and suffering hollow out deep spaces that are aching to be to filled with joy, and you are called upon to respond authentically and creatively.

You are not well served to sprint through grief.

You are not well served to sprint past joy.

(Such a good read, one day I may write as well as Lillith Grey.)

Sadness needs to let go to make room for Happiness which will fade and be filled with Sadness needs to let go…

While loved ones dream of you being just out of reach, I need to make plans to do the next thing. Just one step forward, holding and building that what supports me best, honoring what has passed, and try to do everything with appreciation and love. It’s what my spirit needs, it’s the best that I can do.

The hardest part is that everything Changes.


I’m still here,

Pearce Kilgour

On Doing Better

If there is anything that I have learned, is that the more I work on myself, the better my craft(s) are getting.

From what I’ve witnessed, those people in the Burlesque community who do best, and get better at their craft, are genuine and 100% honest with themselves.

I have to take the advice I give, and to help myself with that same advice, and be aware of the impact/ripples in my communities of my actions. And always act with the true intention of leaving things better than I’ve found them.

I have not been the best at this, for everyone, and I do need to work on doing better, at doing better.

It’s the doing which makes the intention become reality.

I’m aware and sorry for the bad that I may have caused, the unintentional was never intentional. And a good thing is learning that, and to be better with better Vibrations/actions for everyone. I thank you all, for carrying the enormous weights of Love and Fear, in just my general presence or thoughts or memories. Much love in all its flavors. My hope there is an opportunity and better environment for future forgiveness and healing, and sharing of both good and bad, in a professional and personal environments.

Also, you read this in my voice.
But trust me on the sunscreen.

My Very First Performance Poem — Mighty Mike McGee’s Web Presents

In the summer of 1998, my friend, Geoff Trenchard, newly dear to me, got his first car. The first thing he did was probably buy something with which to get high. Then he went to an open mic in downtown San José and got hooked on poetry, written and spoken. From page to the stage. […]

via My Very First Performance Poem — Mighty Mike McGee’s Web Presents