Finding Balance – Enjoy

Mid life unbalance? Or just finally finding ways how to find that balance?Or am I just enjoying life, because I am allowing myself to.

Big questions? Probably. But when the questions get in the way of joy, then I’m being too afraid of finding that happiness.

So, as I’ve just read, Screw Finding Your Passion because “If you’re passionate about something, it will already feel like such an ingrained part of your life that you will have to be reminded by people that it’s not normal, that other people aren’t like that.”

So I geek out over a whole lot of things. Writing Fiction, storytelling, games – Check. Yoga – Check. Acro-Yoga – surprising check. Voiceovers – old school Check. Theater, Acting, special effects  and Event things – another surprising Check. Burlesque – yep became a grandfather first and then embraced taking my clothes off for theatrical theater – a really fun Check. Technology, gadgets are a fun check.

And if I find other fun things to do. Hey, that’s another thing to do, and embracing it and other things happily.


But in the meantime,


Keeping Calm, and Carrying on

Breathing Deep and Letting Go

Get Excited and Make Things



Rain on the still pond. The ripples bump into each other, cascade and cacaphonate. Patterns emerge, simultaneous droplets rise up from the impact. Everything has a place.


A giant splash from above, pouring from one source. Something above was holding it back, and then spewed it forth, dirty with dead bark and moss.

Am I the rain droplet? or the downpour? the pond?

I should embrace being water, as the great Bruce Lee stated, Water becomes the shape of what is holding it. The sky and droplets, a stagnant brackish pool held in a mouldy bird nest holding bones and dreams of flight, the waves of the pond.

Or should I embrace becoming the ripple. Movement into something new.

Humbly, I find myself asking myself this. What must I remove from my own actions, to be more genuine, more present, more honest with myself. These questions and roadblocks on my own journey came up during my 30 day yoga challenge. I couldn’t get deeper into the positions, until I had some serious conversations with myself. The irony of this self evaluation is that it is examination of the ego, which can become addictive. There is a good reason why there are so many self-help books out there.

First, making mistakes. I accept these as part of my self improvement. There is no perfect method. This is why yoga embraces the phrasing, yoga practice. Being humble enough to recognize that there is no perfection, and our imperfections are what makes things great. Neil Gaiman stated in a graduate commencement speech, “make beautiful mistakes”. If hesitation is a sin, then regret is a painful pennance which cannot be avoided.

Second, are my actions helpful only to myself? Or to just others? There are certain parts of self-care, which directly impact the way how I am, how I interact, flow, bounce and ripple with everything around me. If I go into this self-care with the attitude of how I cannot help others first, until I help myself, I can help my own self help process become better. Have I checked in first, and asked will this help? This should be the only hesitation, but over time, I will not have to check, as I will instinctively know, which will be better. One can hope, one can learn.

No one will want to remember the feeling that the exclusive diva will leave behind. Selfish self interest does not help the immediate environment and does not create a positive space. Any actions from the egocentric only introduce gaps, and any reactions from team-centric must work doubly hard to help bring up the rest of the team. Celebrating a Me Monster never lasts in the long term. They won’t get the flow of other people in the long run, and are constantly looking for new people in their lives. They burn short and quick, because no one wants to deal with them. We set them aside into a place where they can’t hurt or negatively bring us down. For our own safety. They isolate themselves, and already have done so long ago, they have not been shown a different way of making actions. And it will take a lot of humility, and self-aware self-help actions to even begin to start removing those same patterns from their lives.

Our best present we can give someone is the feeling that we leave with each other. Our audience, fellow performers, with our customers, our readers, our family and friends everyday. Positive energy only increases as it is focused on.

And we will be known by that feeling.

That is not just our reputation. It is a living legacy these ripples that we leave in our wake.

I’m still here,

Pearce Kilgour

Just let it love

“One’s action ought to come out of an achieved stillness: not to be mere rushing on.” – D.H. Lawrence

There comes a point when fiddling with a recipe too much spoils the food.

There comes the time when you have made too many edits, and the story is lost.

Sometimes, it’s best to just let it sit there. Let it love. A good chilli cooking on the stove is like that. Just let it sit, and be. Don’t touch it, don’t add to it. You can go back and sample it later on, and you’ll know when it’s done. Just turn down the heat, let it simmer for a little longer.

All it needs is a little time on it’s own.

A good story idea will come back to you when it’s left alone. But sometimes it’s best to just let it love.

Rest assured, I’m going to do more writing. I am going to finish stories. Some of these may become serials, some might not show up on here at all. Some of it, just might. But for now…

I’m still here, writing, letting it love,


Live Your Life? Live Your Legend

So there is this event that happens locally in your neighbourhood called Live Your Legend. And basically for a creative type as myself, it’s a good focusing strategy and allows to ask a community for resources that I normally would not be able to.

Also looking at this immediate list of things to do, I might have too much on my plate. I know I can’t do everything, but it’s better to do and create things, than to sit back and watch other art going on and get frustrated creatively.

It breaks down in to 3 things. What are you building? What do you need help with? and What is that Next Step?

September Goals – Live Art

1 – Building – Sept.17 and 18th Burlesque show! – Tickets @ Done! Performers confirmed! Volunteers about to be wrangled! Handbills being handed out wherever I go. Merch acquired!

2 Need Help with – Costumes for personal performance(s) – Asked for help, getting help, sourcing materials. Merch Table presentation – delegating to volunteers.

3 Next Step is To – Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse, make list of everything, double check it, apply magic wizard beard powers.

1- Building – Nov.27 and 28th AND February Burlesque Show!

2 Need Help with – Look into this after September show. But keep on LYL list to do.

3 Next Step is To – Confirm performer availability, TIP, Calgary/Edmonton/Vancouver/Victoria and other Poet/Burlesque

September Goals – Words / Manuscripts / Novels

1 – Building – Query Letters for Manuscripts : 1 down, 1 to go #AmWriting #MSWL

2A – Need Help with – Beta Readers need to get their reading done by end of September.

2B – Sourcing potential agents through #mswl on twitter AND from other people who are looking for the same resources.

3 – Next Step is To – Finish other Query Letter/Pitch, finalize hand edits on paper, plan redraft options and schedule, schedule, schedule. Keep writing in all those little 5 minute open time, like when you’re on a webpage making lists… that’s writing, right?

September Goals – Health

1 Building – Simple Yoga stretching Routine, include Yin, meditation, breathing, more walking.

2 Need Help with – Schedule routine, and developing own series of stretches,

3 Next Step is To – Check Yoga membership price, see if volunteer for karma classes/Voiceover

September Goals – Mental

1 Building – Journaling, need to do a daily pages/journal. Meditation

2 Need Help with – Keeping up a daily habit of Journaling just all the random thoughts to clear head, so current mood is not affecting projects/characters in story. Taking time to set aside all the other things, stretch, and write.

3 Next Step is to – Pick a random empty journal, and start using it. Get really good pen.

Continually Living a Legend of Myself (that sounded really pretentious, didn’t it?)

1 Building – Writing : awesome fiction! Voiceovers for potential income stream. Video/Audio of performances for demo tape. Internet platform with fun merchandise/content. Develop a type of workshop that I can teach in person/online. Have more Tacos.

2 Need Help with – Finishing all the projects. Prioritizing and delegating things I don’t know how to do, so they can get done AND learning how to do it on the way.

3 Next Step is To – Do it, just start doing it. Something/Anything. Better to have it done, and start doing it better. Cannot start doing anything better, without finishing at least one thing.


What are you building? What do you need help with? and What is that Next Step?

They don’t want you to see this Vegas Photo Shoot

These are not the photos that you would typically see from a trip from Vegas. (And I’ve got a whole bunch of others that I need to check on first.) And this is not a typical post.IMG_3691Under a hot Vegas sun, a burlesque beauty was blowing bubbles. Close to the original Welcome to Vegas sign, I signed up for a photo safari involving a whole lot of great models with mind blowing backdrops. I’m still working on my photographic skills… (And writing, and dance, and burlesque, and ukulele, and kazoo….. I’m waiting permission to use those photos before putting them anywhere. You might see them in another place, if you follow me closely.)

IMG_3631Close to Circus Circus, the Stratosphere cuts into the heat. Some construction sites around the strip seem halted, evidence of the slowdown in economic movement despite the constant influx of tourists. By this time, my scalp had started to burn but I was enjoying every moment on the roof of the double decker tour bus.

Two days previous, I was approached with offers of free tickets to major shows. After the pitch, it was obvious that it was a direct advertisement for a timeshare owned by one of the major hotels on the strip, new development. Every form of capturing tourist dollar is out there. Because those are new dollars into the local economy.

Most places in Vegas shine with amazing ridiculousness that encourages debauchery to loosen wallets.


Others have been left out in the sun for far too long.

NaNoWriMo 2014 – WINNER! Project : Get It Done… almost complete!

52190 into 3 different zero drafts. These aren’t even first drafts, as I’m still world building as I’m writing.

Project : Spooky, which started 5 years ago. Project : Hero, the unfinished failed 2012 NaNo got its finish. And the newest idea Project : Witchy.

Spooky has a working title, to be revealed if you follow these feeds. And I’m going to rewrite and plan it out, to get it over 50k, for novella size. One Eyed Press is looking for horror submissions, and shorter length novellas. Would be very nice to get paid for the time on this, little quirky idea of ‘Hey, I don’t write horror, this would be a really good challenge’. And some readings, people got genuinely creeped out. So…. I guess it’s working somehow…?

Hero needs the big messy middle done up, as I skipped over Act 4, the big finish is done and I can work backwards now, as one of the three main plotlines is a murder mystery. I’ll be cleaning up all the King City stories on here, and rebuilding the website, in the new year.

And finally Witchy, which came from inspiration of Las Vegas, and all the statues of the gods at Caesars Palace. The story now needs more erotic supernatural scenes, more glitter, more gods, more demi-gods and forces of nature, and more smooching and romanticy angst… and of course, since it is unfinished, Witchy has to get finished. Finish the zero draft, which is over 30k in words that I started around Nov 12th or so. (I’d appreciate a poke from regular readers to see how the status of this is coming along.)

So much for the plan to do the reverse NaNo writing schedule. ( Basically day 1 is the biggest writing day out of all the days, and on the last day you write two words. The End. As there are times, when I could not write every day, and had obligations, there are days that I needed to get away from the keyboard and not think at all about the writing. The rest from the creative. But that article and general philosophy did help, trying to push above that 1667 daily count every time I sat down to dedicate time to write. Every time it was “Write some more. Can’t write on that one draft, skip to another draft, do more on another story. Don’t stop until you can’t write anymore.”

This year seemed a lot easier overall, but getting past that 35k hurdle was the biggest jump. Even harder to get to that point, than the last 15k.

I didn’t think I was going to finish this year.

Even with 3 different distractive drafts to work on.


Throw the characters into peril, and they shine. I found myself stuck once I started removing peril, and allowing them to easily find their way out of situations. If the characters are having picnics and happy shiny times, the reader, and myself as the conduit of these characters, get bored.


Throw a looming deadline and once again, the words begin to flow smoother at the last minute.

It’s not great writing, it’s fluff, it’s crap. It’s junk food entertainment, not deep literature.


It’s better than the writing I didn’t do last year.



The Day We Figured Out How To Stop Cancer… And Then Didn’t.

Rebel With A Label Maker

Oropharyngeal cancer is one of the hardest cancers to treat.  Hard on the physician, I mean.

Hard on the patient, too.  They’re usually young, in cancer terms… below fifty.  They start with radiation and chemo—which involve massive pain and other discomforts.  If that doesn’t work, Gary usually splits the man’s (it’s usually a man’s) jaw.  The patient is more likely to live than die, but a lifetime of pain and trouble swallowing is common.  A feeding tube can be needed, sometimes permanently.

Used to be, you got this cancer from heavy smoking and drinking.  Then some public health people did some great things to address those problems, and those cancers have been falling off steadily.  So now, when the patient asks “Why did this happen to me?” (as patients often do), there is a sense of injustice.  Often, the guy is a non smoker, and doesn’t drink much.

“Well…” Gary…

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This goes in your fridge, then it goes in your mouth

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This! Is not a pickle.

Inspired by pintrest post and eventually finding the recipe on Recipes We Love, I tweaked the recipe… I know, but you use what you have on hand.

Also if your preference for one type of ingredient is more than the other, go with it. Try it out. Get messy. As Neil Gaiman said, Make beautiful mistakes.

This is 2 sliced english cucumbers, 1 red onion, and one green bell pepper. 2 cups of rice wine vinegar, 3/4 cup of cane sugar, and for the spices…

Red Chili Flakes, Sesame Seeds, Sea Salt, Celery Seeds. I toasted them up a little in the pot before adding in the sugar and vinegar. As soon as it was all mixed up and came to a really low rolling boil, I dumped in a couple of handfuls of ice cubes to chill it down immediately. I could have added in whole peppercorn, but that will be for the recipe for pickling.

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I consider this to be a vegetable brining, and according to the website, the veggies will be good for 2 months. I got a little taste of the brine and cucumber while creating… and this will be a very good burger topping. As of 24 hours, it’s got a very good heat and flavour profile, reminiscent of a bread and butter pickle, but with more character. North American cucumber kimchi?

The lovely Laura McWriter put it in her salad. So, why not! Added arugula and spinach, little bit of shredded coconut, some shredded cheese, some chicken breast… mixed and it’s really damn good.

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Anyone else try out recipes and tweak them just a little bit?


These go in your mouth, in the morning.


These go in your mouth,  the morning after.

Get your grill hot enough to cook frozen burgers.  Then little olive oil on grapefruit half.  The time it takes to cook one side will be enough to char the top.  Then flip them up onto the warmer above the grill. Finish them off with some maple syrup glaze… And have these ready for that morning after the night before.

The real taste and actual sweetness does come out after grilling and chilling overnight. And this method also allows you to peel the grapefruit liked an orange.