You are the source of your experience because your decisions about life color your thoughts, your imagination, your emotions, and your actions. And all these serve like a magnet for associated events, circumstances, and people, attracting you to them and them to you. There’s an awful lot of life out there in the world. The part of it that you experience is a result of your opinions about it.
Perfection is an illusion
Hard work is what makes it shine
Doing something badly is better than not doing anything.
Disappointment is only your ego talking
Fear is misguided anticipation.
It’s been one year, and today is one day since you’ve left us.
There is still relief that you don’t have to be in pain, a pain that the cancers stretched out over a decade. Over a decade, and unfortunately that monster of cancer has erased the memories of the good days, a weight that pulls the bad days in front of our eyes. And these reminders for us to enjoy this, this here and now. Thinking of death does bring appreciation to all the small things, the large things, and all things.
And this grief does not let us have immediate relief. I’ve read that it’s just love that doesn’t have a place for it to go to. Agree and disagree, we can still love the memories of you, the stories you’ve become, and the few moments when your spirit is here – the veil is thin this time of year.
And thank the Creator and Universe and the Goddess, the local lands, and all that is – that it is a veil and not a concrete impenetrable wall. These shrouded veils let us breathe, when you cannot.
Grief and Joy are a process, filled with tiny earthquakes and too many epiphanies for our spirit to handle.
And I’m reminded again, at this time of year, when I make my annual artistic sabbatical to travel to that emerald city, Seattle – There needs to be space, you cannot have nothing, without having something. Every light casts shadow.
(Such a good read, one day I may write as well as Lillith Grey.)
Sadness needs to let go to make room for Happiness which will fade and be filled with Sadness needs to let go…
While loved ones dream of you being just out of reach, I need to make plans to do the next thing. Just one step forward, holding and building that what supports me best, honoring what has passed, and try to do everything with appreciation and love. It’s what my spirit needs, it’s the best that I can do.
The hardest part is that everything Changes.
I’m still here,
Not my words, but definitely wonderful human poetry.
If there is anything that I have learned, is that the more I work on myself, the better my craft(s) are getting.
From what I’ve witnessed, those people in the Burlesque community who do best, and get better at their craft, are genuine and 100% honest with themselves.
I have to take the advice I give, and to help myself with that same advice, and be aware of the impact/ripples in my communities of my actions. And always act with the true intention of leaving things better than I’ve found them.
I have not been the best at this, for everyone, and I do need to work on doing better, at doing better.
It’s the doing which makes the intention become reality.
I’m aware and sorry for the bad that I may have caused, the unintentional was never intentional. And a good thing is learning that, and to be better with better Vibrations/actions for everyone. I thank you all, for carrying the enormous weights of Love and Fear, in just my general presence or thoughts or memories. Much love in all its flavors. My hope there is an opportunity and better environment for future forgiveness and healing, and sharing of both good and bad, in a professional and personal environments.
Also, you read this in my voice.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
These go in your mouth…
via “Those” Brownies
In the summer of 1998, my friend, Geoff Trenchard, newly dear to me, got his first car. The first thing he did was probably buy something with which to get high. Then he went to an open mic in downtown San José and got hooked on poetry, written and spoken. From page to the stage. […]
How you do one thing, is who you are, and how you do everything.
It was March 2016 the first time I performed burlesque in New York City. Having grown up in a small town in (yadda yadda literally it doesn’t matter, you know the story) this was a life-changing benchmark. It would also prove to be foreshadowing.
The event was an abortion rights fundraiser and I was there in two capacities: to speak as a PhD in Human Sexuality and to perform as HoneyTree EvilEye, my burlesque persona. When the organizers had reached out to me about being a part of the event, I said “yes!” and then realized I didn’t know if they wanted muggle me or burlesque me. Both of them were bookable, but they did very different things.
The organizers basically said, “why not both?”
Why not both? Well, for one, I had been warned my whole life that if someone finds out you’re secretly a sexy, fun person-…
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Our all inclusive room came with a bottle of tequila and fresh fruit. The chicharron are from the local supermarket. With bonus Seinfeld looking bee mascot.
Recipe to Slow Down
eat fresh fruit
sip and savor the tequila, imagine the agave and realize the local economy runs on tourist dollars, but still leaves craving for more culture
sit on balcony, watch the ocean knowing there are depths untold
See the difference in the nightsky, this is the same moon, but the lunar conversation is in a different tongue
(when looking to the early moon in the east, will be different looking than later in the west)
Be genuine and not obnoxious, despite any language barriers
Be present, and you become the gift