Rain on the still pond. The ripples bump into each other, cascade and cacaphonate. Patterns emerge, simultaneous droplets rise up from the impact. Everything has a place.


A giant splash from above, pouring from one source. Something above was holding it back, and then spewed it forth, dirty with dead bark and moss.

Am I the rain droplet? or the downpour? the pond?

I should embrace being water, as the great Bruce Lee stated, Water becomes the shape of what is holding it. The sky and droplets, a stagnant brackish pool held in a mouldy bird nest holding bones and dreams of flight, the waves of the pond.

Or should I embrace becoming the ripple. Movement into something new.

Humbly, I find myself asking myself this. What must I remove from my own actions, to be more genuine, more present, more honest with myself. These questions and roadblocks on my own journey came up during my 30 day yoga challenge. I couldn’t get deeper into the positions, until I had some serious conversations with myself. The irony of this self evaluation is that it is examination of the ego, which can become addictive. There is a good reason why there are so many self-help books out there.

First, making mistakes. I accept these as part of my self improvement. There is no perfect method. This is why yoga embraces the phrasing, yoga practice. Being humble enough to recognize that there is no perfection, and our imperfections are what makes things great. Neil Gaiman stated in a graduate commencement speech, “make beautiful mistakes”. If hesitation is a sin, then regret is a painful pennance which cannot be avoided.

Second, are my actions helpful only to myself? Or to just others? There are certain parts of self-care, which directly impact the way how I am, how I interact, flow, bounce and ripple with everything around me. If I go into this self-care with the attitude of how I cannot help others first, until I help myself, I can help my own self help process become better. Have I checked in first, and asked will this help? This should be the only hesitation, but over time, I will not have to check, as I will instinctively know, which will be better. One can hope, one can learn.

No one will want to remember the feeling that the exclusive diva will leave behind. Selfish self interest does not help the immediate environment and does not create a positive space. Any actions from the egocentric only introduce gaps, and any reactions from team-centric must work doubly hard to help bring up the rest of the team. Celebrating a Me Monster never lasts in the long term. They won’t get the flow of other people in the long run, and are constantly looking for new people in their lives. They burn short and quick, because no one wants to deal with them. We set them aside into a place where they can’t hurt or negatively bring us down. For our own safety. They isolate themselves, and already have done so long ago, they have not been shown a different way of making actions. And it will take a lot of humility, and self-aware self-help actions to even begin to start removing those same patterns from their lives.

Our best present we can give someone is the feeling that we leave with each other. Our audience, fellow performers, with our customers, our readers, our family and friends everyday. Positive energy only increases as it is focused on.

And we will be known by that feeling.

That is not just our reputation. It is a living legacy these ripples that we leave in our wake.

I’m still here,

Pearce Kilgour


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