Thousand Cookie Theory

Today, the thousand cookie theory has been proven! Rejoice! Spread the good news across the land! Send forth excited children running through the town square to startle nearby sheep! Bring forth trumpets and cue the inevitable musical number!

Okay, maybe not all of that, but the thousand cookie theory is no longer theory, it’s reality!

What is this theory you ask? This all started when I continually got the question posed back to me, “Is there anything else I can get you?” This question was usually from a vendor from my workplace when I am inquiring on delivery or shipping dates, or requesting that parts be expedited to my workplace. Then it was one low blood sugar afternoon that it occurred to me… COOKIES! if I ask about 20 people for cookies, odds are that cookies are not in my future. But! Aha! But! I said. If I ask a thousand people for cookies, the odds go up. Thus began my great experiment in ‘social baking reciprocation’.

I asked vendors each time, okay not every time. Maybe once a piece… i think. Okay, so my collection of data is not what they call precise, but is more polluted and not usable.I have asked vendors based on this new application of intuition, also known in foreign lands as ‘gut feeling’. As well as tried the scandanavian method of Randomness. See? Really scientific methods involved here.

Upon asking the question, the usual reaction is laughter, I’ve had a few stunned silences, and one vendor who apparently lost their sense of humor back in the war asked “Are you serious?” I had to inform them that I wasn’t but explained my theory. In general, everyone tends to like my theory. I’ve noted that the closer to friday it becomes, the requests for cookies tends to lean more towards happy hour requests.

So, friend at work delivered this to my desk and said, ‘Now you have your cookies’. Excellent.


These are Anna’s Almond Cinnamon Thins, and apparently from the same recipe by Anna Karlsson in 1929. Ooh, it’s also a swedish recipe. Not only are they almond ginger cookie, but 0 Trans fat.. AAANDD… *cue dramatic music*

These cookies are good! The proof is in the royal crest! Go neutrality!

How much more awesome is it? These cookies reference the King of Sweden!

I’d like to involve more science and/or technology in the study of this theory, but I don’t think this awesome can be charted. Bar or Pie. CANNOT BE CHARTED!

Next on my theory testing, irish whiskey and neck rubs. I know that I will make the world a better place, if I could get regular neck rubs and someone to feed me irish whiskey. Sooo… If I ask a thousand supermodels…

I’m still here,


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