I have a tendency to hold on too tightly, to people, to places, and to moments, stretching out all of the goodness until the final breaking point. I clench my fists until my knuckles are white and my palms have dark indentations forming from my nails digging in so deeply. I wait until the expiration…
Everyone has their patterns they want to break; feelings of guilt, revenge, anger, unworthiness, shame. To unlearn the patterns which feed ego, and take action from the heart maybe hard to do.
That’s okay as well, it hasn’t been practiced enough. There isn’t a perfect way to do things, (and those who claim there are, are only feeding their own ego) It’s called a practice for a reason. It’s okay do it wrong, to make mistakes. Know that I thank you for trying and doing. You’re doing great, keep going. I’m sorry for the hard journey ahead.
Unconditional self-forgiveness is a practice of using your heart to change those patterns you want to break. I forgive you for your actions, they come from a place of unloving conditions. Unconditional self-love, holds up all the good and bad of the self, and gives it what it needs. When you do things from the heart, it puts you on the right path. No matter what happens, or has happened, I love you.
It becomes easier the more you do it. Start with yourself to make it better, for everyone.
-An apology/love/forgiveness/thanking letter to myself
Click here to download my free digital chapbook! Published April 1, 2020. McGee Chapbook – Poems For Lonely Times
Problems and Conflict are filters over our perception
to go back
to that which is familiar
if you only know that one thing
your own story
The weight of most fear is inherited from childhood,
is it time to be the better adult to your younger self?
remove those heavy fear tinted glasses
Recognize that to look with many eyes, from many angles, tells many stories of you and you and you
be grateful to step in other peoples shoes, their travels may have scuffed them in dark places, ensure that you’ve returned them respectfully,
make sure that journey is in a better direction, with less fear, and learn with love
for older you
for current you
for younger you
and especially for other people
that follow blindly
Isolation leaves one with their thoughts, emotions, trauma, loves, and only themselves as company.
Without distractions, one is forced to deal with who they are.
Watch your feet.
Claiming to stand on the shoulders of giants, means you honour and respect the work and effort and tears of those that came before you.
Raising a community means bringing everyone with you. Ugly, beautiful, plain, good, indifferent, bad, young, old – everyone.
Making sure that when you lift the bar, that everyone is holding on.
Watch your feet where you lead people to.
Even when you stood shoulder to shoulder, a hidden agenda is seen, not for everyone. But only for your needs.
Check where you stand, watch your feet.
Are you standing alongside giants?
You probably are pushing your community down, with a foot on someone’s head.
Just to keep your own head above the rising waters of your guilt.
Watch your feet.
The more I stand my ground, the deeper you dig that line between us.
I see the whole shoreline,
trying to find a way to show you
beyond your castle stomping
that all these tiny pieces
of shell and rock and shale
that we both stand on
and collectively a beach.
The soft meeting place between the worlds of Ocean and Ground
where there is endless energy forever moving
and stillness of water coming
the forever shoreline.
And you are digging that line deeper and deeper and deeper, until it will probably swallow you again
just like the last time.
It must be tiring being that angry all the time.
Is drawing that exclusionary border,
that line in the sand,
the only thing you know?
Wouldn’t you rather sit on the beach and build something?
Do one thing that scares you today. Or everything will scare you. Read something that blows your mind or challenges your perspective.
Destroy yourself, only in thoughts, to build yourself again and become better.
Be humble, in a strangers shoes.
Wear coconut sunscreen and glitter.
Have a conversation with your shadow, share some tea.
Dream big, get scared, do it anyways.
Wanna be cool? Pull down your pants and slide on the ice!
Help new people, challenge warriors, listen to veterans, comfort the disturbed.
And above all, disturb the comfortable. Especially your own thoughts.
Make Stuff, Get Excited, Keep Kindful and Elevate On.
Make waves, splash a little.
The shape of the wave is formed by your action.
What you put into it, is what you get back threefold. You are responsible for your actions and it’s effects.
Are your actions helping? Do you even know what ripples you are creating? Are you aware of who is on your wavelength? Are you going to leave someone behind – by choice? Or help everyone to shore?
What is the shape of your wave? Is it beautiful? Is it timid? Is it cruel? Does it create or destroy?
The more of one energy you put into the wave, the more it becomes. The more it heads to that one destination. The more of its original intention is shown.
Sadly, some don’t see the original splash they made, they think they aren’t responsible for the ripples.
Does your energy /action/wave lift just yourself, and down others?
Or are you even aware of the harmful effects of your own energy? Are you so self contained that you cannot even recognize the same wave that you struggle with? Are you just echoing your own harm back to yourself?
Like energy attracts like energy.
Do you follow in someone’s wake, or help guide everyone?
Can you actually recognize that the largest common factor of every problem with your energy, is yourself?
The only way to Cast off anchors of regret, is by dealing with all the heavy problems you’ve sank. Quit polluting your ocean, and others.
How you make one thing, is how you make everything in your life.
Take responsibility for your wave and ripples.
Be grateful for your fellow surfers.
Communicate and explore those Rocky waves of the past, with yourself honestly, without the filter of hate, or the jagged rocks of history and emotional baggage. To help your past self with the current storm.
Be the best wave you can be.
Crashes with yourself are expected, be gentle. Apologize for the collisions, accidental or intentional. Recognize that every decision you’ve made has brought you to the crest of this place right here and now.
Help others, adjust your heading, Allow them freely to help you.